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19 February 2023 8 Min Read

How to Face Your Fears? Effective Tips to Get Over A Fear!

Everyone has fears, whether it’s something small or life-altering, rational or irrational. Your fears are the thin line between success and failure. However, it’s up to you whether you will face your fears and overcome the things holding you back.

Since we all deal with our fears, whether you have them is out of the picture. For instance, you might be afraid of failure or not fitting in, or your fears might be unique and driven by your experiences. Either way, they can easily turn into your weaknesses and limit your progress. And the only way to turn them into your strengths is to face them.

Important

Your fears don’t make you weak but not facing them does!

So, the question is always the same – what will you do about them? Will you face your fears? Or keep ignoring them and let them take over your life until you no longer have a say?

Should You Avoid or Face Your Fears?

Many people find facing their fears overwhelming, which is why they decide to avoid them. Avoidance might help you in the short term. However, it’s your number one enemy in the long term. It can cause anxiety and make you think you cannot overcome fear. Moreover, if you avoid things, your fear can grow. Therefore, it leaves irreparable damages.

So, what is the long-term solution? Gradually and repeatedly exposing yourself to get accustomed to the fear. It’s the only way for your brain to get over it.

Warning

A fear is not the same as a phobia. While both generate emotional responses, a phobia can interfere with your ability to function. So, it requires a more complex healing, such as guided therapy or medications.

Still, you don’t have to overcome every fear you might have. For example, you might be afraid of tsunamis. If you don’t live near the ocean, so what? Similarly, if you are afraid of tarantulas but don’t come near the desert, you might as well avoid the fear.

Another good example is toxic or abusive people. If you are in one such environment, facing your fears might not benefit you; it will hurt you even more. So, it would be better to avoid/ignore it until you can leave the situation entirely.

On the other hand, if you cannot easily avoid situations that involve fear, the pros of overcoming it exceed the cons of the process. For example, you might be afraid of the elevator or getting shots from the doctor.

Note

If a fear interferes with your everyday life and normal functioning and prevents you from living a fulfilled life, that’s a sign you must try to conquer it.

Still, facing your fears is easier said than done. Here’s what has helped me overcome mine.

7 Tips to Face Your Fears in A Healthy Way

I am not a professional or a therapist. I am only sharing my experience and what has helped me in the past. And the main thing I have learned is that you must WANT to face your fear.

Over my life, especially as a child, I was afraid of anything and everything. I feared going to the doctors, bees, and social gatherings. I was shy and kept to myself. And no matter how much my parents tried to help me, I didn’t want to be helped. I was comfortable, so I kept going. Well, until these fears of mine started “getting in the way.” It was not until I realized my life could be better if I worked on myself that I began overcoming my fears.

Yet, as I mentioned earlier, you should choose your battles. Invest in overcoming a fear only when you deem the benefits worth the “hassle.” And when you decide it’s worth it, here’s what you can do to facilitate the process.

Acknowledge That The Fear Is Real

The first step on your journey is to recognize your fear and accept it’s relative to you.

Take your time and think about this. Where does it originate from? For how long have you had it? How much does it affect your day-to-day life? And how much influence is it likely to have on your future?

Finding the root of your fear can help you overcome it easier and minimize its influence.

Note

Understand that fear is real, but never doubt whether you can overcome it.

Stop Judging Yourself

How could you be afraid of heights? You are 35 years old! A child is braver than you! Your friends can dive, and you are afraid of the ocean! And so on…

Talking bad about yourself won’t get you anywhere!

So, you might as well stop judging yourself for what you have endured. Fear is not good or bad – it’s real. Therefore, changing your point of view and focusing on the things you can change will go a long way.

Replace your negative self-talk with a positive one. Tell yourself you got it and you’ve overcome it earlier, so why not again?

Put Things Into Perspective

If you lose a perspective of the fear, it can quickly grow into something much more. For instance, you might be afraid of airplane crashes. However, if you do your research, you’ll realize that you are far more likely to end up in a car accident or die from smoking. Funny right?

Due to this, putting things into perspective and evaluating the risks can go a long way. Consider if it is risky. In addition, what’s the worst that can happen? Moreover, could that really happen? And what would you do if it did?

Invest time in analyzing and learning as much as possible regarding the fear. Even if something seems scary, it doesn’t mean it’s risky or exposes you to real threats. Therefore, proper education can immediately lessen your fears, if not entirely eliminate them.

Study and Focus On Your Emotions

Practicing mindfulness will show you emotions are temporary. Therefore, it’s a great way to overcome fear.

Instead of shutting down your emotions, try to engage with them. What makes you feel this way? Where is the fear coming from? Studying your emotions will reveal new things you didn’t know about yourself. Moreover, you might even realize there’s less to be afraid of.

Slow Down and Breathe

If you start sweating or your heart starts racing, don’t fight it. Instead, try to breathe through the panic, i.e., a method called “meta-moment.”

The meta-moment implies stopping and taking deep breaths to activate your parasympathetic nervous system that relaxes your body after periods of stress or danger. It’s the system responsible for rest, sleeping, and enjoyment.

Important

Deep breathing can calm you down and reduce fear’s physiological activation.

Still, to be effective, you must breathe from your belly, not from high up your chest. You can put your hand on the belly and trace its movement up and down to ensure you are doing it right.

Another effective method is Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), i.e., tensing and releasing your muscles to alleviate tension.

Create An Action Plan To Face Your Fears

Rushing into facing your fears can have the opposite effect. Therefore, it’s crucial to take small, planned, and gradual steps so it doesn’t backfire.

At the same time, you have to keep moving. You cannot wait for your anxiety to pass to take your next step. Change doesn’t come independently, so you have to work for it.

So, the key to success is gradual exposure therapy. It’s a highly effective cognitive therapy for treating fears and phobias. However, you must be ready for it, and your brain has to be the one to choose to confront the fear, not your friends or family members. Otherwise, it won’t work.

Studies show that even six hours of therapy can lead to effective results. However, if you cannot afford it, you can practice self-guided cognitive behavior.

Note

Virtual reality treatment can also provide effective exposure therapy.

Let Someone Guide You

Sometimes, all you need is a helping hand to overcome fear. Whether it’s your partner, parent, friend, colleague, or family member, it should be someone you can rely on and trust.

Fear becomes a normal part of your life when you talk about it. In turn, you can take away a lot of its scariness.

Moreover, you’ll make the other person feel important. They will be able to help you or at least feel like it, setting off positive chemicals in their body. So, it’s a win-win situation.

Important

A trusted mental health professional is the safest option if your fear is related to a specific health condition or you are facing a specific phobia.

Exposure therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are three effective treatments for dealing with fear. Moreover, a therapist can prescribe you medications if you need them.

Extra Tip: Reward Yourself!

You have put in the effort, done your best, and moved closer to overcoming your fear. So, it’s time you acknowledge your progress and reward yourself. For instance, you can buy your favorite meal, treat yourself to a massage, or buy a small gift.

Such reinforcements are likely to lead to repetitive behaviors and, finally, facing all your fears.

Conclusion

Fear is not just something that makes your life more complicated. It’s also your survival instinct that keeps you from acting irresponsibly. So, it has its good sides that you should acknowledge. However, if you don’t control your fears, they will take over and control you instead.

The good news is you can turn your fears into your biggest strengths.

Once you acknowledge your fears, how they affect you, and how you can overcome them, they will easily turn into your strong sides. Changing your attitude and no longer seeing fears as negative will teach you courage. And courage will help you achieve greatness in every other aspect of your life.

Still, it takes time to deal with them. So, don’t expect results overnight. Instead, do it step by step and day by day. Invest time, patience, and dedication, and you will see results. I guarantee; you’ll wake up one day thinking about fears as a thing of the past that led you to your greatest victories.

Frequently Asked Questions

Exposure therapy is a behavior therapy technique that involves exposing the target to the fear/anxiety source or its context without causing any danger. It can help you confront your fears and overcome distress.

Psychotherapy is an excellent way to work through your fears. A mental health professional, such as a therapist, licensed counselor, or psychologist, can help you develop insights and healthy coping strategies to deal with fear, anxiety, or painful emotions. However, it’s not the only way to face your fears. Sometimes, you can work by yourself to overcome what has been holding you down.

Yes, you can. You’ll notice progress if you gradually and repeatedly expose yourself to your fears in a safe and controlled way.

You overcome your comfort zone, grow, change, and reach your potential!

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